Transition and Balance.

I am off up to the city today to have lunch with friends for their daughter's 21st birthday. It is not really a party at all but just a small gathering. For an old fashioned person like me it is sad that we don't have the symbolic transition to adulthood as in times past. She has been living with her partner for at least two years so she is already doing 'grown up' things and has established a home. She is doing what she wants so I guess that is the bottom line but it seems to me that we are losing so many defining moments of life. However in other countries there are different transition ages. In Finland it is 18 and in Nicaragua it is 15. I guess the times they are a'changin' as Mr Dylan sang so mournfully so many years ago! Maybe it should be 18 here too and forget about 21!

I also struggle to come to terms with why designers make small adult fashions for young children, especially girls, and then older children dress like mature women and mature women dress like what would once have been described as girls' fashion. It is a very strange and undisciplined world we live in from my point of view. There is a huge blurring of boundaries in many areas of life. Is this a good thing or not so good? Any thoughts welcomed.
I am old fashioned in some areas of life but not at all in others.

In looking at the flood coverage on the TV I have had been thinking about givers and takers in the world. It seems to me that people, generally speaking, are either givers or  takers. The people who are in the SES and such organisations do so as they truly want to give their help to others in whatever way is needed at any time. Then there are the people who are just busy wanting to know who is going to help them and what are they going to be given and when? In actual fact I think we should all be striving to be a balance of both these types.  I am a giver and I do myself no favours at all by being so bad at taking. I also do not do the right thing for those friends of mine who wish to give, by being so bad at gracious acceptance of their gift. I apologise to all those who I have offended by not acknowledging the true extent of my gratefulness for your friendship and giving.



My greatest gift in life and I am always grateful for her.

I had a discussion about this topic of giving and taking and I have identified that there is taking and receiving. Sometimes it is about as I said, gratefully and graciously accepting an offer of some sort from someone and at other times it is actually about taking or at least not giving. We may have to say NO I cannot help you or I do NOT want to listen to your woes today as I need time for myself or just time free of other people's moans and groans. Often the givers are not good at NO when something is asked of them and perhaps the takers are not good at YES when something is asked of them. The balance is to have as many of each overall.



Sunshine and clouds, towns and country - but are they in balance?

The ideal for all of us is to find the delicate balance of both. I think it is this that all religions, philosophies and spiritual beliefs are actually trying to address. The Bible talks of asking and you will receive and of doing for others. Personally I think as humans delivering these wisdoms we often get it wrong. The book 'The Secret' says that if you want something badly enough you will get it! I always ask why have none of these 'gurus' ever wanted good health for the planet that they live on or for good health for the people of Sudan or wherever.  Why do they all say 'look at me, I wanted lots of money and houses and now I have all that!'
That is another subject that could have no boundaries and be discussed vigorously for some time.

To change the subject I have had another day of preserving. This time with apricots and they look as gorgeous as the cherries did! Once again this pleasure was shared with a lovely lady and we had such fun and talk and laughter through the afternoon. We finished up with a walk through the park and it was a day to be thankful for. Humidity, heavy rain and sunshine, it all was of no consequence to our enjoyment of shared activities.

                                                    
In the picture above Judi is wearing an apron that she made. She made one the same for me for Christmas. I love it! I feel like a different person when I put it on. I become my grandmother or one of those farm women whom I loved and admired so much when I was a child. It is symbolic to me of a gentler and simpler time when different things were valued. When it meant that one could wash the apron and not the clothes as it was easier and cheaper to replace a ruined apron than a dress or shirt. How sustainable and simple. When did society decide that it was a symbol of feminine repression? Why is being a good homemaker a symbol of being suppressed? Is there a middle line, a balance (there is that word again!) between the woman who is proud and happy to run a thrifty and sustainable home and the woman who is working outside of the home. Can't 'having it all' mean that instead of one person having it all, that all can have what they want? Both men and women could spend more time at home keeping their own homes and possessions running well and then people wouldn't all need so much money to pay for everyone else caring for their things. It seems like a dog chasing it's tail somehow. A mere fifty years ago men repaired their own shoes, grew a large proportion of their own produce, looked after the basic repairs of house and machinery and also earned money. My father did this and he was a bank manager!

Once again it seems to me that people thought that they were not getting their fair share of the money so they have charged after that but not stopped to think that there is a balance point in everything - is there a natural law about that? - and many are now finding that they don't like life at the other end of the scale any better!

I think we have to start with ourselves though and then we can move on to the bigger picture very naturally. As we all start to find our own balance then we will move in to the balanced place in the world that we fit in. That will move others to another place, like it or not. Just as soon as we start moving things around in one place we are affecting things in another place. This can so often be in ways that we do not immediately notice but that doesn't mean it isn't happening. If we move the sofa closer to the window then we change the pattern of wear on the floor, we change the flow of light into the room which may mean we change the length of life of the plant in the room. It may mean something that we don't even really see like there may be dirt in the carpet that can't be vacuumed up and now we start to break it up by walking on it regualrly and that means that someone starts to get a bit of asthma. Would we stop to think it might be caused by moving the couch over a metre? We all live in a web of life even if we don't see it or understand it! I am pretty sure that is a natural law!

P.S. Have been to the 21st! It was very nice and the special girl looked lovely!